June 1, 2016 FACEBOOK Post

- Feeling determined.
Having a nostalgic kind of night. Sometimes I simply think too much. Where has all the time gone? And where the hell did the person I used to be go? My card pulls this month have forced me to rethink the path I'm on, the path that dead ended a long time ago. I see peers, old friends, employers - passing on. Some had long lives, some not so much.
Am I really honest with myself, am I happy? WTF is happy, really??? Is it contentment? Or is it being excited for adventures yet to be? Lately I feel so disconnected, so unsettled. I go through the motions of life. Some days I have moments of joy, other days just quiet despair. Did I make a wrong turn? Should I have done things differently? I simply don't have answers. I'm an optimist who's having rainy mists of doubt about who I am.
And so today I start trying to find my answers. 29 more days of June to work on me. That's my goal, that's my journey for the here and now. I suspect it's gonna be incredibly difficult. Maybe I won't like what I find. But that's where being willing to change comes in, walking on that unfamiliar road. Guess I'll find out. I've taken that first step, I've started the journey. Stay tuned......
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