I recall back a few months ago having the errie feeling that I was running out of time. Time to finish up all the things I have on my "to do" list for this lifetime. I'm really not sure what brought on this strange feeling, however, it has forced me to really take a hard look at myself and everything around me.
I find that I am now part of the elder group. I have lost a brother, a father, a father-in-law (2nd marriage), both sets of grandparents, a grandchild who never took a breath. I have also lost a nephew, a step-dad, a mother, and a mother-in-law (from my 3rd marriage). The recent passing on March 26 of my mother-in-law from my first marriage has me rattled. I was 15 the first time we met, and I was married to her son for about 13 years and gave her 3 grandchildren. How odd it seems that my youngest daughter would be the one to feel the last heartbeat although others were there as well, in the same house I had Sunday dinner in for so many years.
It just doesn't seem real at all. How does the time slip by so quickly? Suddenly, I have become the old woman, the Crone, the elder. I'm not sure how to process this, not sure why it hasn't occured to me before now.
I suppose we are all running out of time from the moment we take out first breath. We have so many paths to choose from, so many hopes and dreams. Life brings both good and bad, things don't go according to plan, we lose people we love. We do the best we can, we think we have time so we lay things aside. But we never know how much time is in that hourglass, we never know what will take us down.
Although I am still feeling blindsided, I am trying really hard to make sense of things. I wonder, even at this late stage in my life, what my purpose is sometimes. I used to bridge people from one life event to the next. I haven't done that in a long time, I feel disconnected.
Stop today, if only for a moment, and breathe in all the things that are your life. Take time to do the things that matter, you never know if you will run out of time before you get the chance.
Much love, light, and positive energy to you my dear friends. And Brightest Blessing to you and yours!
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